Why Do We Argue?

How many of our meetings and discussions are really about finding a solution or understanding each other, versus just trying to prove ourselves right and the other person wrong?

It's a feeling that we've all experienced at some point - the need to be validated, to have our idea, beliefs and opinions recognized and accepted by others.

But where does this desire to be right really come from?

As it turns out, a few factors can contribute to our need to be proven right in public.

It could be tied to our sense of self-esteem and identity - when someone challenges our beliefs, it can feel like a personal attack on who we are.

Or it could be driven by our need to feel competent and capable - successfully defending our beliefs can give us a sense of accomplishment and boost our confidence in our abilities.

But it's not just individual factors that play a role in our desire to be right. There are also social and cultural influences at play. In some cultures, there may be a strong emphasis on being right and being able to defend one's beliefs. And in some social groups or circles, a competitive dynamic may encourage people to strive to be seen as the most knowledgeable or correct.

So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, take a step back and consider what might be driving your desire to be right. Is it about:

  • protecting your ego
  • feeling competent
  • fitting in with a particular group or culture

Understanding the root causes of our need to be proven right can help us approach conflicts and debates with more self-awareness and understanding.